Things that DO NOT define your self worth
- Jean size
- Relationship status
- Absence or presence of a thigh gap
- What others think of you
5. Your grades
6. Eating people
7. amount of times charged for murder
8. amount of porn you read
9. Amount of times you’ve masturbated today
We all know that feeling, vending machine
marry someone whose laughter sounds better than your favorite song
*Jim From The Office the camera*
It’s actually a good thing that the zombie apocalypse starts in Florida because then the zombies only have one way to go and that’s straight up into trigger happy redneck territory. I give it two weeks before monster trucks and mullets save us.
can we talk about how this is still getting notes
The funny thing is that i can not actually come up with a counter argument for this.
malcolm in the middle was the realest show
Misha & the gummybears
Guy’s Review of Right Guard Deodorant Ends Unexpectedly
Oh my Jesus
I think I’m going to write a book called “‘Four Hours Is Definitely Enough Sleep’ And Other Lies I Tell Myself”
Nuggets of gold in 140 characters or less.
how do i tell my cat she’s adopted
wait til a frost giant grabs her paw and she turns blue.
im sure this makes sense to some fandom somewhere